What is Nonviolent Communication (NVC)?

NVC can actually improve our relationships when we focus our on:

1) Empathic understanding of others while standing by our values,
2) Expressing how we feel and what is important to us (our needs) openly and honestly, free from blame or criticism, and

3) Self Connection so we can be clear with others when speaking about what we care about, and self-regulate after upsets more quickly.

NVC suggests we include four components of communication: 

1) Observations free of interpretations and opinions;
2) Feelings that come simply from the heart;
3) Needs, values and longings, our motivations; and
4) Requests and offers expressed clearly in positive action language.

These tools help create dialogues that inspire satisfying solutions for everyone without painful sacrifice (sometimes called ‘compromise’). Even in longstanding conflicts or hostility, the NVC process can open new doors to compassionate connection and action toward yourself and toward each other. It is unnecessary for everyone involved to know or use NVC.

Learning NVC can: 

• Bring compassion and understanding to your relationships

• Understand better other people’s feelings and what matters to them

• Change patterns of thinking that can cause anger, depression, guilt and shame

• Show up assertively without sacrificing responsiveness